when you wanted a nude in the 1500s you had to sit there and get your ass painted for 8 hours
my grandparents must have asked my parents for pictures of me because they have one of my selfies framed in their house
How do tears get to your leg
it’s a euphemism for peeing your pants
in which gav and dan are fantastic and sassy
when a girl make u feel some type of way
So today on the bus there was this little boy, he was talking to his mom about how he had a crush on someone in his class. His mom asked him “Oh, what’s her name, honey” and he said “no”. All she said was “Oh, is it a boy then?” with a smile on her face, and then asked what his name was. Then the boy told her to guess and so the conversation went on.
This is how a parent should react, all respect to this woman.
The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.
I’m so glad they aren’t around
omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either
Praise natural selection
I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution
The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion
I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?! I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!”
Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing!
And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.
Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.
GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.
these are fucking kaiju the precursors sent to scope out the planet im fucking convinced
If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity
Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle
So there’s a blind kid in my class, and today we were having really bad thunderstorms in our area. All of the sudden there’s a huge crack of thunder and all the lights go out. Some girl screamed “Oh my god i can’t see anything!” and the blind kid goes “Me either!!” and i just lost it